A New Life In Christ Jesus

A testimony i found online.
It encouraged me and reminded me of my new life in Christ Jesus.
Pray that the Lord able to renew a right spirit within me.
To walk in His righteous path closely with God and in purity.

証しのページ　

K.さんの証し
Part I :Why I am a Christian.

Recently, while doing my research I came across a drug that is use for abortion. The success rate for such drug is 98% to induce an abortion. Despite of the fact, that I was planned to be aborted, my family was poor at that time and I would be a girl instead of a boy, God preserved my life in that 2% category and I was born on 16 November 1976.
I was born to a family, which is involved in Christian cults. My dad was from Seven-day Adventist (but left it when he was young adult) and my mum was from Jehovah Witness. I know there is a God and someone called Jesus. But my ideas were confusing and I don’t really bother to find out who they are since the Jehovah Witness mainly focus on adults and not on children. But Jehovah Witness became illegal in Singapore because they discourage people from serving the Singapore army, based on the commandment “You shall not kill”. In Singapore, every male who reaches 18 years old have to join the army for 2 years as a national duty. My dad discouraged my mum from getting baptized and from joining the Jehovah Witness since it was illegal in Singapore.

After many years, my mum decided to attend a nearby church near my house. I was 9 years old and attend church was just like religious knowledge lesson for me every week. I stopped attending church when I was 13 years old. Instead I decided to attend computer lessons. As the lessons move from beginners to advance class, each time I was very happy to receive the achievement certificate. But the happiness lasted for a few hours to a day or two. After my advance computer lessons, I asked myself if I will spent my life trying to achieve but never being satisfied? If at 13, I am not satisfied with my achievements. At 30, will I find myself chasing an empty dream? What will really satisfy me? Then I remember my Sunday School teachers (children church’s teachers) talked about Jesus. That day, 21 October 1990, I told Jesus if you are real please come into my life and make it meaningful.

When I was 12-13 years old, before I became a Christian, every weekend I would go out shopping and buy something. It doesn’t matter if I have need of it or not. I just wanted the feeling of excitement that I am able to own something. I think it is the need to be in control. Every time the thing I purchased will get thrown aside after a while. I got tired of it and I would need to buy something new to have the excitement again. When I became a Christian, Jesus made everyday a new adventure in my life. I didn’t need to buy new things to make my life feel exciting anymore. Through the good and difficult situations, Jesus is with me, He is my joy, my shelter and my source of help. My first favourite verses is Psalm 121.

Though I didn’t always stay close to God. I drifted away from God when I was 16. I wanted to make my own decisions because I felt I have always listen to people’s direction. I chose to have a non-Christian boyfriend despite of my family and Christian friends advise. I became a weekend Christian and a weekday non-Christian. From 16-19 years old I made a mess out of my life in my rebellion. When I broke off with my boyfriend, I came out of the relationship broken, grieved my family and my spiritual family. I knew I had sin against my God and made him grieved the most. In God mercy and love, He forgave me of my sins and took me back in. The story of the Prodigal son since than have always reminded me of our God’s great love (Luke 15:11-32) I realize man’s love is so fragile and it disappoints so easily but our God’s love is everlasting and ever faithful, even when I was unfaithful.

At 24, I graduated from university. I got my first job working for my professor as a laboratory assistant which earns about 50,000 yen a month, I worked for 6 months hoping to join the Masters program but things didn’t worked out. Subsequently, I got my second job as a research assistant at National Cancer Centre. My parents were very unhappy that my 1st job gave such low pay. With my degree I was expected to earn money and repay my parents for all the money they have invested in me. My second job, initially earned about 130,000 yen per month, everyday my dad would ask me “where is the money” when I came back from work. I became very depressed, I wondered if money is all my parents cared about? I felt unloved. I wondered if my future was just to have a good job, earn lots of money, get married, have children and died in the end. I found life to have so many disappointments and hurts that I don’t know why I should endure it anymore, why not end it then and go to heaven to be with my God whom I love. As these thoughts rage in my mind for a week, the night that I decided to end it all by jumping out of my window of my home which is 12 floors above ground level. Then Jesus spoke to me as if I was at heaven’s gate. “Karen, what are you doing here? I haven’t call you home yet” The disappointed look on Jesus face was too much for me to endure. How can I say I love Jesus most when I again disappointment him most? I just can’t live in heaven with the disappointed look of Jesus imprinted in my mind. Jesus spoke again “Karen, I know the world has been a disappointment to you and the more you try to control your life the worst it becomes. Entrust me your life, I will carry you through, I will never disappoint you.” That night I did not commit suicide but I died. I died to myself and was made alive in Jesus. Now all I have is Jesus in me and His purpose reign in my life. He is my sole purpose for living. I finally understand Paul when he wrote : Gal 2:19-20 I have been crucified with Christ I myself no longer live but Christ lives in me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.Gal 6:14 Because of that cross, my interest in this world died long ago, and the world’s interest in me is also long dead.

He will do that for you too, if only you will let Him. 皆さん、頑張ってね！